Monday, July 24, 2017

A Bachelorette Party When You're Kinda Old

So you guys, my sister is getting married on Saturday. Her wedding is THIS weekend! How is my baby sister old enough to get married? Wasn't I just at the costume party for her 9th birthday party like, a week ago? Ugh. Whatever. What do you think? Does the girl on your left look old enough to be planning a wedding?


Ange has some amazing [almost] sister-in-law who had a HUGE hand in planning this bachelorette weekend. One of the sister, Nikki, orchestrated these before and after pictures of everybody! Keith looked at these pictures and said, "Wow, in the after your hair looks crazy." He's not wrong.


We went to the Santa Barbara pier and had some drinks (and complementary popcorn - YUM!), and I forced everyone to take group and individual pictures. This was the first thing that made me feel old, but you know what? If I hadn't forced this, we wouldn't have these pictures! SO GO ME. BEING OLD. I AM AN EXCELLENT OLD PERSON TO HAVE AT A BACHELORETTE PARTY.


My sister-in-law Amy and I took a selfie in the backseat. She is one of the most amazing women I have ever known. She's the mother of the niece we lost last October.


I also forced us to take a picture of all the "Tiffin" girls in front of some really pretty flowers and um, YOU'RE WELCOME.


We rode in a limo and stopped at a winery in Summerland, CA, and my sister Angentte told her proposal story. Her fiance (Joey)'s sisters were there, Jenny and Nikki. I snapped a picture of them listening to Ange's story of how Joey proposed to her and this is one of my favorite pictures I've ever taken.


Later, when we were at the pier and I was forcing everybody to take a group picture, a guy in a windbreaker jumped in the front and the guy who had my phone didn't want to take the picture, but I thought it was hilarious, so I just shouted 'TAKE THE PICTURE!' like, dude, this is 2017, I don't have to worry about how many films I'm developing. TAKE THE FUNNY PICTURE. MAYBE IT WILL END UP AS A MEME. WHO KNOWS.


Well, it did not end up as a meme and then we got a regular picture


Later, everybody got ready to go downtown and go to some clubs. Now, I haven't been to a club since before I got married so I decided to wear a very tastefully long sleeved flowy top from Express that definitely left everything to the imagination.


We had also stopped to have brunch at this fantastic restaurant that was obviously not fantastic enough for me to write down the name. Anyway, they made me double fist really cheap mimosas.


Later that night we played a game that had something to do with puckering and a pecker and there was brightly colored lipstick involved. I'll let you guess what that game was. I did not win. Here is a picture of the girls with their lipstick.


THEN, to cap the night off, we went to a club! You guys! I know I am old, but nothing has made me feel as old as I did when we went to the club! My older sister and I were sitting in the corner trying to be invisible but we were hit on by a guy in a fleece lined vest and we were NOT invisible and here is a picture of us with the bride in the background.


You know you're old when you only go to a club so you can take a selfie of the eyeliner a 22 year old did on you for fun.



We had a fishbowl of tasty alcohol that did NOT get drunk by us because it tasted like a sour patch kid but like, not in a good way. So, Joey's pregnant sister danced and pretended like she was drinking but don't worry, she wasn't! and it ended up being a really fun night!


...despite all the times my older sister and I complained about the music, or the crowds, or the lines, or the middle schoolers who were posing as 21-year olds, etc etc.

But the bottom line is that we were able to celebrate Angenette, whose wedding is THIS SATURDAY. And she had a wonderful bachelorette weekend, and her new sisters-in-law Jenny and Nikki did an amazing job planning it. And now I know for sure that I'm too old for clubbing.

BRB gotta go take care of my bunions.

Friday, July 21, 2017

How college shaped my future

"Have I helped someone today?" - is a question I ask myself on a daily basis. I feel proud and accomplished when I'm able to answer, "Yes." Because of my college education, I am in a career which enables me to truly help people every day. Were it not for my education, I would not be where I am today.

When I began my college career, I had no idea where life would take me. I didn't know what I wanted to be or where I wanted to end up, but I knew that having a college education would greatly increase the opportunities I would be given. I knew that college would give me me lessons from books, professors, and individuals, and I knew that every single thing I learned would be put to good use after my college career was over. There were many times when I was struggling to study for a test or finish a paper, and I would think about my future and about how the things that were difficult at the moment would shape my future.


About halfway through my four years of college I realized that what I was truly passionate about was helping people. I wanted to help people in whatever capacity was available. I was so thankful I'd chosen to get my degree in Communication Studies because it taught me all about relationships and how human beings interact and learn from and with one another. It taught me how human beings gave and accepted help from one another.

In every job I've had since I graduated from college in 2010, I've been able to help people. In addition, with every job I've had since I graduated, having a college degree was a necessity. I speak with 100% honestly when I say that obtaining my degree enabled me to be where I am today.
During my senior year of college I was the president of my major's honor society. I was able to head committees, functions, and fundraisers so that our society could help other people. Through this society I was able to learn how to organize functions, delegate tasks, and communicate with co-workers. The opportunities I was given in college forever shaped me and my work ethic.


Today I am employed at a doctor's office. Had I not completed college, I would not have been hired. I am able to go to work every day to a job I am passionate about, a job which allows me to wholeheartedly answer, "Yes!" when I ask myself if I've helped someone today. 


When I go home at the end of the day, I feel fulfilled. I find myself excited to go to work in the morning because I know what I am doing will make a difference in somebody's life. The fact that I would not have this opportunity without a college education is not lost on me. At every opportunity I am given, I have encouraged young people to pursue a college education. When somebody says to me, "I don't have a specific career path chosen; I probably won't go to college," I encourage an education because it can lead to infinite possibilities which can help anyone realize his or her potential.

This post is sponsored by Brightwood College, but the content and opinions expressed here are my own. Brightwood College does not guarantee employment or advancement.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

I am so dumb. I am really dumb. For real.

Back in May Keith's parents told us: "For your birthdays we'd like to take you to a very fancy magic show."
"OKAY!" We replied enthusiastically.
"It is very fancy," they emphasized.
"Yes we are ready and prepared. It is May. The show is in a month and a half. We are prepared."
"Ok but just so you know, it's REALLY fancy. Men must wear suits. Women must wear dresses. No denim is allowed. IT IS VERY FANCY."
"Lol yes ok parents, I think we, as grown adults who know how to do things, will be able to go to this magic show."
"VERY FANCY magic show. On July 13th."

So, on the night of July 12th, Keith tried on his suits and I tried on my dresses and the end result was basically just this:



But literally really though. My dresses are either too short, too small, or show WAY too much cleavage for a night out with my in-laws or even a night out of my house because WOW it's a lot to deal with.

And Keith had like 4 suits that are almost right but not quite and this is the kind of place where, if you don't match the dress code, you don't get in. And that would really suck.

So, at 9:30 this morning I'm going to race down the hill to Macy's and pray that the perfect dress and shoes are there because THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. I have never felt so stressed in my life. I also feel like I should be lectured by somebody. Like... Antwon Dodson, probably.


I know, Antwon. I deserve every word of the lecture. I don't even deserve it in the autotune version.

So if you think of me, pray for me, because I am very nervous about finding a pretty dress in a dark color that covers my knees and shoulders and most of my arms. And also I need shoes that aren't too tall.

SO THAT'S IT. THAT'S WHY I AM AN IDIOT. AND KEITH IS TOO. But hey, at least I got this blog post out on time.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Parts of Titanic that we all just need to get over

-Why did Old Rose throw the diamond into the ocean at the end? Why didn't she give it to her granddaughter?

     While The Heart of the Ocean could have succeeded in maintaining Rose's granddaughter's highlights, the truth is that Cal probably never would have succeeded in letting anyone in Rose's family keep the diamond. Though Cal Hockley killed himself in 1929, he almost definitely would have put something in his will about that special diamond which would have cemented its place in his family's fortune. So even if Rose's granddaughter had been given the diamond, it would have been taken away immediately. The only way for Rose to make sure Cal or his family ever saw the fortune 
of the diamond was to make that stupid noise and toss it into the ocean.



-How did Rose harbor all those feelings toward Jack for her whole life without telling her her husband or children about her lost love?

Well, you guys, a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. There are probably a million things Rose never told her husband about. Also, what would the point be? "Hey, Mr. Calvert, FYI I don't actually love you. My heart lies with a guy who's frozen at the bottom of the North Atlantic. But you know, thanks for the memories and the kidz n' stuff.


-How did Molly Brown just "happen" to have her son's wardrobe with her on the Titanic?

Well, there are several explanations for this. First, Molly's son could have passed away recently and she wasn't ready to let go of him, so she took his clothes with her to America so she could stay connected with him. Secondly and most likely, her son had never left America. Molly had gone to Europe and had bought many, many expensive suits for him and was taking him back to the states for him to wear. She was just so taken with Jack that she decided to let him use some of his never-before-worn suits.


-Why did Rose promise Jack she'd "never let go" and them promptly LET HIM GO into the freezing Northern Atlantic?!?

     This one irritates me the most. YOU GUYS. Rose wasn't talking about "never letting go" of the literal Jack Dawson. If you watched the movie at all, you'd know Rose was promising Jack she'd "never let go" of her promise to him to live a full life. Rose made the most of her life and found loe, happiness, and fulfillment, because she knew that's what Jack would have wanted. She promised Jack she'd live her life and THAT'S WHAT SHE DID.



-Two of them could have fit on that door.

     YEAH I'LL NEVER LET GO OF THIS ONE. They both could have fit on that door, period. Rose took the door AND the life jacket? SELFISH B.


**Did I miss any? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments**
















Sunday, June 25, 2017

June: trucks, birthdays, showers, oh my!



There's actually quite a bit to catch up on, so I hope everybody is prepared. I celebrated my 29th birthday on June 17th! I have been having a hard time with the last 20s. I was very unhappy to turn 28 and then this past birthday I kept forgetting how old I was because I'd been saying I was "almost 30" for so long. 

On my actual birthday Keith and I drove up to SLO for the day (it was a 5:45am leave time to a 2:15 end time which almost killed me) for a combination celebration: we celebrated my sister's briday shower and then the cumulative birthdays for me, my older sister, Keith, my brother in law, my soon to be brother in law, and we also celebrated Father's Day!

My sister Angenette is getting married on July 29th. She and her boyfriend have been together for like, 8 years so I mean IT'S ABOUT TIME GUYS, RIGHT?





Katelynne is going to be one of four (yes, I typed that right) flower girls, and don't tell anybody but I think she might be the star of the show. She's starting to be such a little ham! She recently started taking ballet classes and she's obsessed with being a "bannerina." It's pretty adorable.

Keith's birthday was on May 29th, and for his birthday I allowed him to buy a new truck! We took his truck up to SLO for my birthday - I didn't want to drive, and I'm not ready to drive his brand new truck so this seemed like a perfect solution.


On an unrelated note, do you know anybody who wants to buy a 2010 green Toyota Tacoma?

Over this past weekend we went to see a friend's band play at Big Bear Lake. It was at this performance that I made a new friend, Rebekah, and realized I looooove vodka sodas. Ordering a vodka soda sounds really grown up. IS THIS WHAT BEING 29 HAS DONE TO ME?




And that's it, for now. Thanks for reading about my life and stuff. bye.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Stuff My Husband Says



Husband: I love you so much, you're the prettiest girl ever!
Me: Aww, I love you too!
Husband: ...I was talking to the dog.


Me: Please don't buy anything from the store except salsa. I went grocery shopping and I have lots of healthy food and I have meals planned.
*One hour later*
Husband: Look! I bought Hamburger Helper!


Me: Hey, did you wash this bowl?
Husband: Yeah.
Me: Did you use soap?
Husband: Yeah.
Me: Did you use a sponge?
Husband: I used my fingers. Isn't that the same?

*One week when we were on a healthy eating kick*
Husband: No, don't put any salt on my vegetables. We're being healthy.
*Two hours later when I found him eating Reese's Puffs out of the carton on the couch and accused him of being a hypocrite*
Husband: What? It's healthy. It's cereal.


*After I asked him to please bring home a cucumber*
Me: Why did you bring me a zucchini?
Husband: ...what's the difference?


Husband: You know, before you I used to keep the same spoon in my work truck and I'd use it every day to eat chili out of a can and I'd clean it with spit.


Me: Are you really watching soccer? AGAIN?
Husband: Yes, I'm trying to get into it.
Me: *large groan*
Husband: What?
Me: It's just... there's always some kind of sport on.
Husband: That is literally the point.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

You must be pregnant

Let me list for you some conversations I've had with people who either really want me to be pregnant owho are really convinced that I'm already pregnant. PSA: This is never okay. DO NOT BE THIS 'PERSON.'

Person: Huh, you look tired today.
*Pauses, looks around room, then leans in and whispers loudly:*
ARE YOU PREGNANT


Person: Are you pregnant?
Me: No.
Person: Want some candy?
Me: Yes.
Person: A CRAVING. YOU'RE PREGNANT, I KNEW IT!



Me: I have a pimple.
Person: OMG PREGNANCY HORMONES.



Person: How long have you been married?
Me: A year and eight months.
Person: OMG YOU MUST BE PREGNANT.



Person: Why aren't you pregnant?
Me: It's not the right time and it's also NOYB
Person: LOL OK BUT U R PROBS PREGNANT RN



Me: None of my clothes fit me anymore.
Person: Because you're pregnant?
Me: No, Deborah, because I've been eating too much ice cream and I've gotten too chunky.
Person: PREGNANT PEOPLE EAT ICE CREAM OMG YOU'RE PREGNANT.



Me; Wow does anybody else smell that?
Person: YOU SENSE OF SMELL IS GETTING STRONG U MUST BE PREGNANT.


TL;DR: I am not pregnant; please stop making assumptions.