Wednesday, June 7, 2017

You must be pregnant

Let me list for you some conversations I've had with people who either really want me to be pregnant owho are really convinced that I'm already pregnant. PSA: This is never okay. DO NOT BE THIS 'PERSON.'

Person: Huh, you look tired today.
*Pauses, looks around room, then leans in and whispers loudly:*
ARE YOU PREGNANT


Person: Are you pregnant?
Me: No.
Person: Want some candy?
Me: Yes.
Person: A CRAVING. YOU'RE PREGNANT, I KNEW IT!



Me: I have a pimple.
Person: OMG PREGNANCY HORMONES.



Person: How long have you been married?
Me: A year and eight months.
Person: OMG YOU MUST BE PREGNANT.



Person: Why aren't you pregnant?
Me: It's not the right time and it's also NOYB
Person: LOL OK BUT U R PROBS PREGNANT RN



Me: None of my clothes fit me anymore.
Person: Because you're pregnant?
Me: No, Deborah, because I've been eating too much ice cream and I've gotten too chunky.
Person: PREGNANT PEOPLE EAT ICE CREAM OMG YOU'RE PREGNANT.



Me; Wow does anybody else smell that?
Person: YOU SENSE OF SMELL IS GETTING STRONG U MUST BE PREGNANT.


TL;DR: I am not pregnant; please stop making assumptions.

9 comments:

  1. I've been married 8 years, no children. I still get this ALL. THE. TIME.

    It's so not okay...

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    Replies
    1. I was getting it the day after we got engaged! Like, JUST CALM DOWN. AND STAAAHP.

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  2. I wish people had more respect for others when it came to this. We've been married for 10 years and they try to turn anything and everything into trying to see if you are pregnant. "How come you aren't drinking...wink, wink?" or "How come you are in town ABC (insert name of town you go to doctor in, but also happen to have other regular appointments or errands that you tend to in that same town) during the day when you should be at work?"

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  3. I never have understood why people think that pregnancy is a topic that should be anyone else's business but your own. I am about to be 35 years old. I've been with my boyfriend for 13 years. We get all the time..."when are you guys having one?" or "it's your turn next" or "I can't believe you guys don't have one yet." from people who are our friends and family who have kids.

    How are my reproductive organs and life choices any of your business??????? What if we were trying but just hadn't told anyone and can't conceive?? then this would be found as a hurtful topic to bring up!! Ugh....drives me crazy.

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  4. This made me laugh. While it is never ok to be that person it does make for good blogging!

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  5. i've never understood this mentality. i mean... when i was a kid, really the only thing i wanted to be when i grew up was a wife and mother. and then i grew up and realized that being an adult is pretty damned hard enough, why would i need to add wife AND mother to that?

    it's like people are never satisfied. you graduate from high school, and the question is where are you going to college? when you answer that one, it's what're you getting your degree in? when you answer that one, when you get the degree, it's where're you going to work? when you get the job, it's when are you going to meet a guy? and if and when you meet one who's worthy, because god knows it's kind of a bitch to find one who is, it's when're yall gonna get married? and then it's when're yall gonna have babies? and then your life isn't your own anymore; it's about the babies you've made.

    if i had managed to find that guy and marry him, you can bet your ass i'd be wanting to enjoy just being married to the dude. just the two of us. because the kids are there for about two decades, and then the shitshow starts all over... only you're watching the avalanche...

    i'm really tired and a little depressed, so that probably didn't make any sense, but... girl, just enjoy being with your boy.

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  6. I know people mean well when they do this, but it's really none of their business. Also, they could be causing additional pain for anyone who is struggling with infertility. Ugh.

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  7. Lol. Nope, not pregnant, and here's my cucumber vodka cocktail to prove it. *halo smiley emoji*

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  8. I feel like because I've read so much about people's private infertility struggles on blogs, I feel like this isn't even just inappropriate, it can be downright hurtful. You just never know if someone isn't pregnant because that is their choice or because it's not happening for them. We got married around the same time so trust me, I'm right there with you. Once you hit the year mark it becomes a popular conversation topic.

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